| STiShawn | 10-25-2006 03:58 PM |
For me its a fine balance, my wife knows how much racing and my cars are to me, but WE also know our limits finincially. If..well actually WHEN I need parts or entry fee's we talk about it and re-work somethings if need be in the budget. But overall long term is more important then my race car. We're saving for a house and planning on kids in a few years so I have limited my self to no new projects, and only doing what MUST be done to the cars..yes it means I miss out on some smokin' deals..but in the long run it'll be worth it. We as a couple decide what is within the means and good for US, since what I blow money on effects us both. Im not willing to sacrifice my daily life and future for racing, nor should she be expected to do the same for my hobby. She supports me and ecourages me all the way, but she also keeps me in reality when it comes to cash flow.
So to answer your question, my wife has 50-50 say, and WE make the final decision.
So to answer your question, my wife has 50-50 say, and WE make the final decision.
| gerald06sti | 10-26-2006 03:41 PM |
So for those folks who are married, what advice would you give someone like myself who is still single? If racing is your TRUE passion, perhaps avoid those long term relationships so you can chase after your dreams as a racecar driver? Or is there some ground rules one should set with a wife about your hobby so you don't end up in a situation where your wife throws down the hammer and you end up watching "While you were out" everyday and get stuck doing wallpaper every weekend?
To me it seems like it needs to be a two way street. Ideally you meet a girl that has a hobby she is passionate about as well. So then you both can bring each other "up" a level. Your wife gets her hobby room in the house and you get the garage for your car(s). Thats how I see it working out. The issue I have is that the girls I meet have no real hobbies! They want all of YOUR happyness to somehow funnel through them, and if something else makes you happy like a car or video game that's just the most horrible thing in the world and she wants to put a stop to it.
To me it seems like it needs to be a two way street. Ideally you meet a girl that has a hobby she is passionate about as well. So then you both can bring each other "up" a level. Your wife gets her hobby room in the house and you get the garage for your car(s). Thats how I see it working out. The issue I have is that the girls I meet have no real hobbies! They want all of YOUR happyness to somehow funnel through them, and if something else makes you happy like a car or video game that's just the most horrible thing in the world and she wants to put a stop to it.
| KNS Brakes | 10-26-2006 04:02 PM |
[quote=RaceComp Engineering;15742768]Thanks man, ...ya know thats interesting because some people semi-bash me for that, thinking its a stunt to get more business. *** em I say,because I put these things out there for discussion. Its the real side of me that I always put out there on these boards.
So thanks for saying that.
Myles[/quote]
It's clear that you are an avid enthusiast and are doing what you love for work - same here.
Isn't that the American dream?
So thanks for saying that.
Myles[/quote]
It's clear that you are an avid enthusiast and are doing what you love for work - same here.
Isn't that the American dream?
| sachilles | 10-26-2006 04:20 PM |
[QUOTE=gerald06sti;15760779]So for those folks who are married, what advice would you give someone like myself who is still single? If racing is your TRUE passion, perhaps avoid those long term relationships so you can chase after your dreams as a racecar driver? Or is there some ground rules one should set with a wife about your hobby so you don't end up in a situation where your wife throws down the hammer and you end up watching "While you were out" everyday and get stuck doing wallpaper every weekend?
To me it seems like it needs to be a two way street. Ideally you meet a girl that has a hobby she is passionate about as well. So then you both can bring each other "up" a level. Your wife gets her hobby room in the house and you get the garage for your car(s). Thats how I see it working out. The issue I have is that the girls I meet have no real hobbies! They want all of YOUR happyness to somehow funnel through them, and if something else makes you happy like a car or video game that's just the most horrible thing in the world and she wants to put a stop to it.[/QUOTE]
Find a girl that enjoys the sport as well. Someone that would go to an event, even if you weren't there.
With my wife, I found that she goes, only because I'm there. She tries to like it for me.
If they aren't as crazy about the sport as you are, it will never be a high priority for her.
Now, not every potential wife will like racing.....so what can you do. Long before a serious relationship starts, I'd start budgeting for the hobby. Set up your own bank account for it, and perhaps dedicate a credit card to it.
So that when you find the girl of your dreams(minus a love for racing). You'll have already setup a way to fund your racing.
Honestly, on my end, I think the house is the big thing that inhibits race funding. Our house is a fixer upper to say the least. I'm stereotyping, but women in general worry about money more than men, so having a mortgage with little wiggle room will freak them right out.
So budget x amount of money, direct deposit it into a seperate account and keep it that way.
That is the only way I can think of ........wish I had thought of it earlier.:(
If we decide to have kids, I'm screwed.
To me it seems like it needs to be a two way street. Ideally you meet a girl that has a hobby she is passionate about as well. So then you both can bring each other "up" a level. Your wife gets her hobby room in the house and you get the garage for your car(s). Thats how I see it working out. The issue I have is that the girls I meet have no real hobbies! They want all of YOUR happyness to somehow funnel through them, and if something else makes you happy like a car or video game that's just the most horrible thing in the world and she wants to put a stop to it.[/QUOTE]
Find a girl that enjoys the sport as well. Someone that would go to an event, even if you weren't there.
With my wife, I found that she goes, only because I'm there. She tries to like it for me.
If they aren't as crazy about the sport as you are, it will never be a high priority for her.
Now, not every potential wife will like racing.....so what can you do. Long before a serious relationship starts, I'd start budgeting for the hobby. Set up your own bank account for it, and perhaps dedicate a credit card to it.
So that when you find the girl of your dreams(minus a love for racing). You'll have already setup a way to fund your racing.
Honestly, on my end, I think the house is the big thing that inhibits race funding. Our house is a fixer upper to say the least. I'm stereotyping, but women in general worry about money more than men, so having a mortgage with little wiggle room will freak them right out.
So budget x amount of money, direct deposit it into a seperate account and keep it that way.
That is the only way I can think of ........wish I had thought of it earlier.:(
If we decide to have kids, I'm screwed.
| RichardM | 10-26-2006 04:22 PM |
[QUOTE=gerald06sti;15760779]So for those folks who are married, what advice would you give someone like myself who is still single? .[/QUOTE]
Do what you like to do making sure you are doing more than one thing. When you meet someone doing the same thing you are doing, you have at least one thing in common even if it is bar hopping. :)
Do what you like to do making sure you are doing more than one thing. When you meet someone doing the same thing you are doing, you have at least one thing in common even if it is bar hopping. :)
| Imprezivblue | 10-26-2006 05:01 PM |
Well, FWIW, my boyfriend road races, and I am an avid autoxer. I'm still in school and he's graduated and has a job which funds his habit. I've worked many summers and took a semester off from school to fund my habit. I enjoy going to track events to watch him, he's come to autox events with me and even co-driven before! This is my first relationship that's come of anything and it's working out quite well.
Considering we've discussed post grad plans since I graduate this year, I suppose I'll share some conversations we've had. My biggest fear was being forced into that "non-racing supportive of husband" role and not being "allowed" to race anymore. There's no way I could possibly stand being in that situation. I brought this up and he turned around and told me there's no way that'd happen, in fact, he'd probably end up getting into autox more because it's cheaper and that he'd probably have to sell his race car, grow up, and buy a house. So in return, I told him if we end up in that situation, we'd figure out something and he wouldn't have to sell his racecar. His racecar is worth more to him than it is to anyone else. He's put in the blood/sweat/tears on that racecar nobody else has. It has more value to him than it would to anyone else in the world. He built it from the bottom up. So I understand this whole concept of eating ramen noodles to race.
*shrug* I guess the bad thing out of all of this is that I do want kids one day. This is something a lot of racers give up on so they can continue to race.
Considering we've discussed post grad plans since I graduate this year, I suppose I'll share some conversations we've had. My biggest fear was being forced into that "non-racing supportive of husband" role and not being "allowed" to race anymore. There's no way I could possibly stand being in that situation. I brought this up and he turned around and told me there's no way that'd happen, in fact, he'd probably end up getting into autox more because it's cheaper and that he'd probably have to sell his race car, grow up, and buy a house. So in return, I told him if we end up in that situation, we'd figure out something and he wouldn't have to sell his racecar. His racecar is worth more to him than it is to anyone else. He's put in the blood/sweat/tears on that racecar nobody else has. It has more value to him than it would to anyone else in the world. He built it from the bottom up. So I understand this whole concept of eating ramen noodles to race.
*shrug* I guess the bad thing out of all of this is that I do want kids one day. This is something a lot of racers give up on so they can continue to race.
| sachilles | 10-26-2006 05:05 PM |
[QUOTE=Imprezivblue;15762025]Well, FWIW, my boyfriend road races, and I am an avid autoxer. I'm still in school and he's graduated and has a job which funds his habit. I've worked many summers and took a semester off from school to fund my habit. I enjoy going to track events to watch him, he's come to autox events with me and even co-driven before! This is my first relationship that's come of anything and it's working out quite well.
Considering we've discussed post grad plans since I graduate this year, I suppose I'll share some conversations we've had. My biggest fear was being forced into that "non-racing supportive of husband" role and not being "allowed" to race anymore. There's no way I could possibly stand being in that situation. I brought this up and he turned around and told me there's no way that'd happen, in fact, he'd probably end up getting into autox more because it's cheaper and that he'd probably have to sell his race car, grow up, and buy a house. So in return, I told him if we end up in that situation, we'd figure out something and he wouldn't have to sell his racecar. His racecar is worth more to him than it is to anyone else. He's put in the blood/sweat/tears on that racecar nobody else has. It has more value to him than it would to anyone else in the world. He built it from the bottom up. So I understand this whole concept of eating ramen noodles to race.
*shrug* I guess the bad thing out of all of this is that I do want kids one day. This is something a lot of racers give up on so they can continue to race.[/QUOTE]
Well, if it doesn't work out, and he doesn't end up marrying you.......he's an idiot.
Could you talk to my wife....please?
Pretty please?
Considering we've discussed post grad plans since I graduate this year, I suppose I'll share some conversations we've had. My biggest fear was being forced into that "non-racing supportive of husband" role and not being "allowed" to race anymore. There's no way I could possibly stand being in that situation. I brought this up and he turned around and told me there's no way that'd happen, in fact, he'd probably end up getting into autox more because it's cheaper and that he'd probably have to sell his race car, grow up, and buy a house. So in return, I told him if we end up in that situation, we'd figure out something and he wouldn't have to sell his racecar. His racecar is worth more to him than it is to anyone else. He's put in the blood/sweat/tears on that racecar nobody else has. It has more value to him than it would to anyone else in the world. He built it from the bottom up. So I understand this whole concept of eating ramen noodles to race.
*shrug* I guess the bad thing out of all of this is that I do want kids one day. This is something a lot of racers give up on so they can continue to race.[/QUOTE]
Well, if it doesn't work out, and he doesn't end up marrying you.......he's an idiot.
Could you talk to my wife....please?
Pretty please?
| RichardM | 10-26-2006 05:17 PM |
Imprezivblue, may I have your telephone number please? Oh wait, I'm already married to a woman who likes cars and rallying as much as I do. :)
Good luck to you.
Good luck to you.
| Imprezivblue | 10-26-2006 06:22 PM |
Haha, well my point was that us female car enthusiasts do exist, and some of us are understanding. But at the same point, it's a double edged sword. Some of you like the time away from your wives to be with your guy friends. I'd love to get into road racing some day, but who knows if it will ever happen. Having two people that road race will be expensive as hell. This thread has been quite educational for me because if for some reason he's not the one and I meet someone not into road racing that I end up marrying, I might end up in the same situation. Weirder things have happpened. . .
| gerald06sti | 10-27-2006 09:03 AM |
Sounds like I need to get to an autox event not only to get some racing experience but to meet some ladies!! :devil:
I guess the bottom line is meet and build a relationship with someone who is willing to support your hobbies/dreams and make sure you do the same for them! :)
I guess the bottom line is meet and build a relationship with someone who is willing to support your hobbies/dreams and make sure you do the same for them! :)
| Silentdawn | 10-27-2006 09:18 AM |
I'm not allowed to race. Period. no drag (what i always wanted to do), no autox, no rally. NOTHING.
sucks.
sucks.
| sachilles | 10-27-2006 10:33 AM |
[QUOTE=Silentdawn;15769619]I'm not allowed to race. Period. no drag (what i always wanted to do), no autox, no rally. NOTHING.
sucks.[/QUOTE]
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Sorry dude
sucks.[/QUOTE]
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Sorry dude
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